I think I'm going through a "growing pain" phase. Yes, as much as I like to keep my art endeavors fun and fancy-free, I still hit a bump in the road from time to time. I go through that whole, "I'm not a real artist", "real artists would never take me seriously", "I should have gone to art school so I'd have a special skill/clue/knowledge", etc, etc.
Now, please understand that I am posting this here with the understanding that I know these are all lies/traps and part of growing. BUT, these feelings still find there way into my pea brain and subsequently reek havock on my creative process. It's like I go completely blank and forget how or what to do.
This usually happens when, 1) I'm going through a stressful time at home, 2) I take a break from creating, 3) I look at too many artist's work that are established, polished, lovely, etc. (The ones I want to be like when I grow up!)
Ok, so, yesterday, it occurred to me that I must be going through a growing pain again. Something inside is telling me to stretch. Lately I've been sketching and doing things in which I feel like I am a fish out of water. I painted on a collaged canvas, I sketched, I used a new journal to make character's in. I looked at all of it and thought, this is CRAP! And you know what? It is. But that is OK, because I am growing. I am learning. I am stretching. It's like exercising while being "out of shape". It takes time to built up stamina, skill, etc. You have to make lots of mistakes. You have to make ugly stuff to find what you like to make that is beautiful.
This is where I'm at right now. I am just being totally honest with y'all. I look forward to where this stretch and emo-ego-centered diatribe will take me to. I must use it to grow and not to get down on myself. I know there is lots more art to be made and that I will never know where it's going to take me until I commit to exploring it. My plan right now is to "do it anyway".
Talk soon my friends. xo lia