So, I've been doing alot of painting as of late. I've decided I have a love/hate relationship with painting...that is painting, painting. Not painting journal pages and the like. I'm talking, painting a painting that is supposed to look like a painting. I say it's love/hate because I love to paint. I say hate because it frustrates me, I don't know how to, and I end up with alot of crap, and a huge mess to boot. But I digress.....because, after all , I can't do anything half way. I have to get obsessed about it....I yearn to learn so much. You think I could just pick up a brush and throw a few strokes on some paper? Noooooooo.....I have to start reading everything in the world on the subject, buy books that will show me how, and generally, start painting anything and everything around me that doesn't have a heartbeat.
I share this with you because I am trying to make sense of it myself. For those of you who have been following my art adventures (and messes), you know I've delved into the wild blue painting yonder before. But, each time, I get, well, scared. Why am I scared? Because I have to deal with doing something in my relaxing, down time that demands more of me. Scared because I like being in my comfort zone. Scared because I fear it will distract me from other things I "should" be doing. Scared, because I imagine myself becoming a recluse and being holed up in my basement, talking to myself and losing touch with reality. Scared because I may start thinking of taking painting classes, and that would be delving into new territory.... It seems much easier to collage. I mean. I love collage. It's SO forgiving, and I never feel scared or unhappy or annoyed when I'm doing it.
Well, let me tell you another thing....which I've only told one friend. When I started doing my art "thang" again, about 3 years ago, I made a painting on a large piece of wood. Well, one day, when I was particularly upset about my art junk all over, etc., I took it and broke it in half. I then threw it away. Ok, now, I'm sure you are thinking, "this lady...this art junk whoever is totally wacked.
Well, I can tell you that I am as normal as the next person....just a little cooky is all. Actually, people do mistake me for being 99.5 percent normal even when I tell them things like this.... but anyhooo.....I forgot my point..oh, yeah, my point is, that even with all these mixed feelings, I really want to learn to paint. I'm going to show you guys some of my crap pretty soon. really, I will. I am also trying to combine the collage with the painting (which will make it far more enjoyable for me). I am very, very inspired by the work of Kelly Rae Roberts and Leah Piken, now Leah Piken Kolidas..(.hey, that sounds greek...you greek?) I know they say that in order to learn, you must study great work. Their work is SO amazing...I want to eventually learn how to incorporate collage work into my paintings, but also learn to paint so I have something good to paint over the collage. Now, you think they would let me be their understudy for a few days? Hmmmm...maybe not after the breaking my painting in half story... lol. Actually, Leah is one of my greatest creative inspirations, yes, you are Leah! She continues to inspire artists of every level with her challenge to be Creative Everyday. Ok, so that's where I've been. Painting and thinking. thinking and painting. Wow, it feels good to get all that stuff off my chest...
P.s. while I had the paints out, I painted a bunch of pages in my moleskine journal. I figure that while I have the paint out, I may as well do something useful. Talk to you all soon. Hope you are inspired to pick up something you like, even if you are afraid...and don't break anything...capish? xo Lia